Kids grow through resistance and adaptation. This is true of the body, and also emotionally and socially. When we make decisions about kids using devices, we are really making choices about protecting development. Dr Sharon Maxwell has worked with families, children, and teens for decades, and writes about what technology does to developing minds.
Before the pervasion of digital technology, childhood required kids to adapt to many small, everyday resistances. They learned to wait, improvise, negotiate, persist, and adapt.
Young children develop patience by waiting, and emotional regulation by experiencing little frustrations and learning to tolerate them. As they get a little older, kids learn to focus by sticking with tasks, and develop imagination by coming up with independent play. Teens become socially intelligent by navigating awkward situations, experiencing disappointment, attraction, and repairing relationships.
Digital environments short circuit so many of these milestones. A toddler’s AI pet really only offers the semblance of connection, but it’s so much easier than interacting with a real animal or person. Sharing some blocks with another kid requires social skills that are smoothed over in a videogame. These digital experiences are so stimulating and addictive that reading, conversing, or even watching a movie seem boring in comparison.
Teens have it even worse. In this time of rapid growth, moving so many interactions to digital platforms stymies the necessary challenges that stimulate confidence and empathy. They think texting is easier than talking in person. By the time they get to college, they lack the skills to connect with other students and make new friends.
Protecting Opportunities for Healthy Development
Parents need to keep in mind that digital technology goes beyond entertaining kids on car rides or while we make dinner. It shapes the environment in which development takes place. We usually just ask, “How long is it okay for my kid to be online?” We might be better off asking, “What opportunities is time online replacing?” Kids need time to be bored, think, talk, move around, and try hard things in the real world, if they are going to grow into healthy adults.
The convenience technology offers parents is not benign. It may make things easy in the short term, but much harder in the long run. Parents can and should work together to delay digital technology for kids, limit access to technology that weakens development, and protect experiences that make children stronger.
Dr Lisa at Family Chiropractic of Fairfax has worked with families, children, and teens for 18 years, including two kids of her own. She has been there, and it has not all been easy. Ask us about resources for your kids, and check out Dr Maxwell’s full article from Pathways to Family Wellness Magazine. Read More