Sometimes a little encounter with illness in our teeniest loved ones can serve as a reminder of what we instinctively know.
When her one-year-old daughter had a fever, Dr Sharma’s first reaction was to get a little freaked out and analytical. She found herself trying to track all the data, such as: how long had it been going on, how hot had she gotten, how serious was the situation? In that moment, she was not engaging with her baby on a physical level, only intellectual, as if getting all the facts and figures straight could accomplish anything. When she was scanning, calculating, and tense, her baby responded by acting even clingier. But she slowed down her racing thoughts, and listened to what her baby’s body was trying to tell her. She needed to be nurtured.
Supporting the Body Through Regulation
A fever is not an enemy to be vanquished. In fact, a fever is a coordinated immune response, intended to clear the body. A lot of parents will try right away to lower a fever, seeing it as the main problem to be solved. But keeping in mind that fever is a sign of an active immune system doing its job, we can do more to support the body.
Once Dr Sharma realized her baby was not panicking or inconsolable, she understood that her daughter was just reaching out to her for comfort. She needed regulation, and she needed to borrow it from her mother. Nervous system regulation is key to health because the body functions best when it feels safe. Small children are not good at self-regulation when stressed, though, so they rely on co-regulation. The steadying presence of a caregiver stabilizes their internal state.
Illnesses during infancy can be daunting, but health is more than just the absence of illness. It’s the connection that lets the nervous system know it can move through stress and return to balance. Read More